the fat queer girl

There is nothing restorative or powerful about being the fat queer girl. This isn’t going to be some poignant statement about how we should love ourselves. If that’s what you’re here for, go elsewhere. There are a million poems about that so go read one of those.

There’s nothing confidence-inspiring about being the fat queer girl. Even among the enby femmes there is no fatness that is celebrated where we can see it; everyone is thin, thin, thin, thin because there is no fluidity in the softness of fat, I guess even though that’s metaphorically-incorrect and factually-incorrect and also deeply unfair.

And because I’m on a roll here with the self-pity– I’m not even the right kind of fat queer girl. You know the ones. The tall, busty girls with big eyes and the suggestion of hourglass waists in their forgiving proportions and shapely legs and mouths you could kiss until sunrise. With my lovehandles overswelling my hips. Inadequate breasts, columnal thighs, short neck, tiny eyes, thin lips, twisted spine–

There’s no one who wants to be the fat queer girl.  

rlb 4.27.18

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