what the health

I thought this morning, briefly, that I couldn’t blog about health and body issues because “I write poetry on WordPress” but then I realized that I’m not writing for an audience, I’m writing for myself, and variety is the only way I can keep up the habit of writing on the regular.

Below the cut: potential trigger warning for disordered eating.

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Not Today

Outside of vague poetry I’ve ignored the stroke. I want to pretend it never happened as if, maybe, that will undo the brain damage and emotional trauma that comes with going toe-to-toe with Death. I’ve spent a lot of years flirting with Her and I guess Death finally decided to flirt back.

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Advance Directive

Cremation is cheap but the laws stating that bones cannot be left whole appall me. I want those significant and alive to have my hair and teeth to make with them what they with and I know with certainty that I do not want to be embalmed and buried in steel and concrete. I prefer to go straight into the ground, in a shroud– some fabric that will rot but maybe embroidered with runes and blessings– but where? Bury me in the Sierras on the East side of Rose below the treeline. Bury me with flowers. Horsemint and melissa and columbine and sage. Burn dragonsblood graveside so my father will be welcome there. Pour wine over my stone marker. I’m weak and afraid and I want to be remembered.

rlb 5.29.17

We all have demons that we would rather forget. For each person they this means something different and generally doesn’t stop at just one. A huge demon for me would be anorexia and if there is one thing that I have learned over the years is that sometimes it is easier to let those demons […]

via Demons Best Left Forgotten — My Roaring Twenties


I suppose I should be, as you so kindly recommended, grateful that I’m capable of posting to my own blog about my own thoughts and experiences. The dead neurons in my left medial temporal lobe in the place called Wernicke’s Area didn’t take that from me.

Except for how they did.

(Let me count the ways.)

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